No, I'm good, really. I can handle it.
That's usually my mantra. But, it isn't always a good one to have. One day my boss offered to do something for me and, being the way that I am, I rebuffed her. "Beth, don't steal my joy. I want to do this for you."
Don't steal my joy.
I was taken aback by what she said, because I had simply never though of it that way. You know how we all get the "I-did-a-good-deed" high? Well, when you try to run the whole show, you take away someone else's opportunity to get that feeling.
While I've been working through The Grumps these past few weeks, her words have lingered in my mind.
So, while I'm Grumpy and don't really want help (or THINK I don't), I have let her help me with my workload. And you know what's happened?
I feel better because
#1: I let her feel helpful, which hopefully made her feel good.
#2: My load got lightened which was actually good for my mood (imagine that!).
#3: I had one less reason to complain about "having to do it all" when I got home.
You may not believe that letting someone come alongside you would do much to improve your attitude, but it really does. Her help gave me a bit of breathing room in an otherwise chaotic day. Deep down, I wanted the help. I just didn't want to ask for it. But it sure was nice when I got it!
What if no one is coming to your aide?
Psalm 118:7 says, "The LORD is with me; he is my helper." Even when you feel all alone in the world, God is there to help you, comfort you, encourage you...whatever your need, He can fill it.
Don't feel like you're imposing, either. He wants us to come to Him with our problems. Matthew 11:28-30 states that pretty clearly:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Oh, and when you let somebody chip in, don't forget to be thankful for the help :-)
I guess my Getting Over the Grumps Tip of the Day boils down to this:
Share the Load
Spread the Joy
and Lighten Up!
I understand this so well. I am also a "do it myself" girl... who would really like to have some help... but I want them to "want to" help me. I don't want to have to ask... I want it to be their idea.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is hard to be a "receiver", isn't it? We can easily rob others of a blessing when we refuse their offer of help. May we learn to be more receptive.
We are too much alike. I have heard the exact same phrase "don't steal her joy." Wise words from a co-worker when I shared how I felt bad that my mom insisted on giving me money "for gas to and from WCU" after I was married. I felt that it was a personal expense, but for my mom, it was her blessing to me.
ReplyDeleteI believe me co-worker said the same thing when my mom wanted to buy me a new outfit for a job interview. I felt a new outfit was unnecessary, but my co-worker reminded me that it was my mom's way of passing joy, and not to rob her of that.
Tough to handle, huh?
I got your recipe thing in the mail-- thanks!
I, too, and a do-it-all-myself-er. I have such a hard time asking for help (especially at work). But it does feel so good to have the load lightened and to let someone else feel the joy of helping. Great message!
ReplyDelete