Wednesday, February 6, 2008

So Selfish!

Yep. That's me! Selfish. I always have been. I was a surprise baby, born so much later than my siblings that essentially, I was an only child. And I was spoiled rotten. I always got what I wanted, and I only had to share with my friends. Usually, that was fine. But I still thought it was all about me.

But now I'm older, and I'm still selfish. If you called me that as a little girl I probably would have stuck my tongue out at you. But now? I'm sticking it out at myself. Pbbbbt.

I don't want to be selfish. I want to be more Christlike. I don't want it to all be about me, because it isn't!

At least I have made the first step: I recognize my problem. And I want to change!

So, "God, change me" has become a prayer of mine. I even wrote it in my prayer journal. And how I love it when He answers!

I know that I have a purpose, God-breathed and designed just for me. And, you guessed it, and can get pretty selfish, even with that. "But why can't you give the kids a bath? Clean up the kitchen? I worked hard all day and now I have to write! I have important stuff to do!"

Ick. It's sickening to witness in print, and even more when I catch myself saying or thinking things like that. I can take my "purpose," writing as a ministry, and make it all about me. Doesn't that defeat the purpose?

And what about my family? God has plans for them, too. But I easily forget that. When you're always thinking of yourself, that happens.

Yesterday morning, my devotional calendar was reminding me of the fact that God did prepare me to do His work. I struggle lately with actually doing what I know God has asked, so that spoke right to my heart.

This line was front and center on the page: "He desires to transform your sin nature into the very nature of Christ Jesus." Echoing my prayer. "God, change me." Yes, Lord. I hear You.

My morning reading was about the fruit of the Spirit, coming from Galatians 5. I just have to share the thoughts:
"Ask most believers if they would like to accomplish what the Lord has planned for them to do with their life, and they will say, 'Yes!' To be the person He calls each one of us to be, we must surrender our will to His. That means telling God that we are willing for Him to do whatever He must to drive selfishness out of our life."

I hear You, Lord! I was excited to keep reading...
"Surrendering our will to God's better plan clears off the throne of our life, enabling the Holy Spirit to take His rightful place there....we are transformed from the inside out. First, we begin to recognize when God's hand is at work. Second, we experience freedom from selfish pursuits or earthly attachments...In serving the Lord, we gain a confidence that we never had while serving self."

I am just beginning, but if I keep asking, I know God will answer. We are promised that when we delight ourselves in the Lord, when we desire what He desires, it will be given to us. (Psalm 37:4)

I know God wants me to surrender to His will, instead of trying to live by my own. So I will excitedly and expectantly wait to see how God wants to change me...


  1. I just read your comment on my blog and I hope I'm not too late to answer!!! My favorite shop is in Maitland, just north of Orlando. It's called Sip N Knit and she has something planned on Feb 16th. don't know what but she usually has great sales. She also has a web site. There is also Knit! She has a lot of Noro in the back. Its SMALL, but ok in a pinch. Not a shop I would make a trip out for unless you were in the area. that's in Longwood. A bit further North is Knit and Needle Nook, in Mt Dora. She is also small but a nice shop. She just took over from a previous owner and is very eager to please. Lots of yarn, but not much in notions. And to the south in Kissimmee is Needle Craft World. I've never been there but from what I hear it's nicer than a JoAnn's or Michael's but not as specific as a LYS.
    Hope this helps and that I'm not too late!!!

    And thanks for stopping by!!

  2. Great post! I have a dear friend that set me straight from my selfishness one day when she told me, "There is not 'What about me?' in the bible. We were sent as a help meet." Oh, step on my toes, but oh so truthful!

    Gotta go... kids are needing some TLC!

  3. Ya know.... I have learned that when I submit to God's Will I usally find myself doing something fun and exciting - or at least what I thought would be dull has become fun and exciting.


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