Monday, April 28, 2008

You Gotta Have Friends...

When I was a kid, I had lots of friends. My "best" friend seemed to rotate yearly, depending on who I saw more often at school, although I was still close to all of them.

I got married right out of high school, and one by one, my friends started falling to the wayside. One came and went through my life more than once. The last time she left me behind was just before my divorce, and it absolutely broke my heart.

After that, I really missed having a best friend to do things with, to talk to, and to laugh with. I hate to say that years later, things haven't changed much. It's been hard for me. I have girly tendencies, being a girl and all :-), and living in a house full of boys doesn't let me "get my girl on" very often. My husband is a great friend and my best friend, but it just isn't the same.

I remember reading the verses, "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" (Ecclesiastes 4:10) and "a cord of three strands is not being easily broken." (Ecclesiastes 4:12) My soul would be so grieved. I didn't have those friendships that the Bible tells us are so important.

I prayed for friends, and specifically for godly ones. Eventually I began meeting a few women, and developed some "surface" friendships, but no deep relationships.

Then I noticed something this weekend.

I have a wonderful friend who calls just to wish me happy Monday and leaves silly messages on my cell phone. I have friends who will join in on practical jokes without even knowing the "back story" behind it. Friends that will join in who DO know the back story. I have friends who will grab me and hug me for no good reason, and go places with me. I have friends who understand that we have to go to McDonald's for lunch together because we have our 3 kids with us, even when they don't have any of their five. I have friends who encourage me by telling me how they enjoy my blog, and ask me to "guest blog" on theirs.

What I noticed this weekend is that I have friends again. I lost my so-called "best friend," and God didn't replace her with one, but with several.

So, to all you ladies (and guys) out there that I now truly call my friends, thank you. You know who you are. You are the answer to my prayer.

Thanks, Lord...:-)


  1. Awesome point. I have dealt with this a lot over the past 5 years. In elementary school, I had tons of friends. In middle and high school I had friends in and out-- but it seemed that the older I got, the less I had in common with any of my friends. By college there was a huge divide between me and those that had been closest to me.

    Then God hit-- big time. Over the past 5 years, I have become friends with some great people, and now I realize why there was such a huge divide between my other friends and me. Morally and spiritually we were not on the same page. So while everyone else was going out to parties, I was studying (yeah, I'm a nerd too). We didn't have much of anything in common. Now I'm at a great church where I have close friends that I know I can call on if I need to, and I can expect a smile out of every Sunday, or whenever else I see them. True friendships mean SO much to me. :)

  2. I don't have a "best friend". I have found that they can be too much maintenace and a lot of hurt feelings. So I have surrounded myself with lots of friends from various areas of my life and I keep my best friend as my husband. It works for me.

    Let's sing the Veggy tale song together...."I an be your friend, la la la ....."

  3. Hi Beth,
    I am new to your blog, and I thought this was a very sweet post. I too "lost" several friends through my twenties for a whole variety of reasons, so now I value the ones I've got even more. I've come to value friendship in a whole different way as an adult.

  4. I needed to hear this. I feel like I'm between friends right now. I've been disappointed, okay really upset, that some of my so called friends are just too busy these days to carry on our relationship. Unfortunately, if you don't invest time in your friendship it will wither and die.

    I've really been asking the Lord to send me some new friends- some fun friends- who are headed the same direction as me. I'm tired of being nothing more than a counselor to some and to others only someone who shares a common interest for a season.

    That said, I still have my very best friend from nursing school. She lives a half a country away which makes it hard, but we treasure each other and have maintained our friendship for more than 20 years!


So, what do you have to say?


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