"The LORD will keep you from all harm -- He will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 121:7-8
Today has been a struggle. Well, the past few actually, but especially today. My nephew has been in serious trouble and really, really needs our prayers. Please say one for him. For the whole family, really. That's all I'll say for now. It's pretty serious, and it has been an emotionally charged day.
And, I'll be honest here: my editorial struggles continue, too. Leadership is not one of my highest spiritual gifts. Yet, here I am trying to lead a publication team. My husband is usually right when it comes to reading me (annoyingly so) and he says that, in no uncertain terms, I am NOT a leader. (He's just being honest, not mean. He really is a sweetie :-))
But needless to say, that doesn't exactly boost my attitude or motivate me to try harder. Often I just want to throw my hands in the air and say, "I QUIT!" I'm very much a by-the-book kind of girl and when others don't play by the rules, it drives me crazy! Which is what I am now. :-P
Whatever struggles I face, God is watching. Psalm 121 says that he watches my coming and my going (even going crazy!). I am not alone. He knows what I'm facing. And He's waiting patiently for me to remember that and ask Him to help me, guide me, comfort me.
So, I remember that saying that "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." I guess I'm in my qualifying time right now. I may not be a good leader now, but maybe He's training me to be one. Maybe He wants me to stop being so anal and learn that there's more than one way to accomplish a goal.
But whatever His plan for me is, He's watching it all unfold. Today, He is "El Roi," the God who sees. And even though all the problems are still there, it really does make me feel better to know that.
Next time you feel alone, I hope you remember that our God is a God who sees you, wherever you are, in whatever you're facing...