Saturday, March 8, 2014

A #RiskRejection Update

Wow, has it really been over a month since #RiskRejection "officially" ended? I guess so, but we're going to keep going with monthly updates because, well, we missed it. :-) So here's what's new for me:

Finally, on February 20th, after weeks of painfully slow communications, the shop owner I pitched placed an order. For 36 arrangements, that will be shared between two different gift shops! My house is now covered in paper scraps, floral wire and glue. And I'm not sure where my dining room table is any more!

I was going to write an announcement post, and start blogging over at the business blog I plan on running. I turned 40 the day after I got the order, so it was supposed to be a whole kick-off thing. But, we'll just say that all this suddenly felt a bit overwhelming (more on that later) and the blog and/or announcements haven't happened yet. So you readers here are the first to know.



I still need to get my logo loaded everywhere, write my shop intro for the gift shop display, publish that first blog post, and set up my Etsy shop, so hopefully I can get some online sales too once my stuff hits the real-world shop. I have LOTS to do to get ready. Fun and frightening all at once! And did I mention that I need to finish it all by Tuesday?

So, this does feel like quite an anti-climactic post, actually, but, now it's out there. I'll share links to the new sites once they're ready and maybe you fellow risk-takers can help me spread the word. :-)

And not related at all, but a bucket-list thing for me: I finally ran my first 5K on March 1st, and finished in 35:17. Not bad for an inadequately trained 40 year old, in my opinion. It was fun--I hope to do it again!

So, what have all my #RiskRejection friends been doing since our last update???

Thursday, January 30, 2014

#RiskRejection--the last "official" one

How is it that January is essentially over and technically then, so is #RiskRejection? I feel like we're just getting started!!  Well, I dare say many of us that joined Amy on this journey will keep right on taking risks, and now that we've formed a little sisterhood, I hope we will keep sharing and encouraging one another.

Like for example, I could use some this week....

If you will remember, last week I took a huge risk by telling the shop manager I had pitched that I was going to have to redo my prices. I actually jumped off the cliff and did that part. Then I calculated and fretted and added and subtracted and searched and shopped and tallied, and made up a new price list. And Sunday night, I sent it.

And have heard nothing since.

To be fair, she always take at least a day to respond, and this week, we have had snow and schools have been closed most of the week. So it is possible that she couldn't get to work because of the weather. Or maybe she has kids and had to stay home with them. I honestly have no idea. I'm making those excuses to try and keep hope alive, and not accept that she has just blown me off.

But if she has, she has. That will suck, but it will be OK. Her shop isn't the only one around, and I can try other options, like an online shop or even another "real" one. So, the business idea isn't dead, but my plans for that shop might be. Who knows--God may have different plans for all of it!

So, my next risk will be to send her another email or give her a phone call just to make sure she got the message, and leave it at that. It's out of my hands then. And then, it will be time to make some flowers and find somewhere to sell them!

Even though #RiskRejection is technically over, I will probably still post about it over here, until I get a business blog up and running. I've kinda missed blogging--this challenge has been a nice way to ease back into it.

So, keep dropping by, see if anything new has developed, and let me know what kind of risks you're taking these days!

Oh, if you're here, do me a favor and say a prayer for our missions team from my church, being ultimate risk-takers? We have a group of 20 on their way to Kenya right now, and they have had truckloads of problems due to the snow. They have not even left the country yet last I heard, already putting them an entire day behind. I was one of them in 2012, sitting in the Atlanta airport waiting for my first overseas flight, and my first (and so far only) mission trip ever. Help me pray them over there safely...and then go #RiskRejection yourself!!

(Makes me reminisce about my trip--a few highlight photos from memory lane...)

Our crew

Survivor shot--see the wildebeests behind me?

The sewing ministry girls I went for--young girls, rescued from prostitution with their teacher Zipporah

The roads suck in rainy season!

Susan and Jane

Arriving at the orphanage

Inside a dorm at the orphanage

We camped in a Maasai village for 3 days, home to these lovely ladies and their families...

Precious Maasai women

Peeling a few potatoes--like my machete?

Gorgeous cheetah

Papa lion--one of several


Right in the middle of the herd

Views like this left me speechless

These fellas were everywhere.

Zebras

Mama lionesses

Who knew--Maasai men like Twizzlers!

Watching the Jesus Film on an iPhone in the native Swahili language--how awesome is that?!

The airport where we waited for our ride to Nairobi (for real!)
Our plane from Maasai Mara back to Nairobi--the 2 people in front were already passengers

And the runway. Seriously. At least the sheep had moved out of the way...

Man, all this reminiscing makes me wanna go back!!! Maybe I'm a risk taker after all :-)  Are you??


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

#RiskRejection--Week Two

No, I am not thinking up creative titles. :-)

So, wow, how has another week passed already? Time flies when you're taking risks, I guess!

This week was full of big ones for me. Let's see what I can remember!


  • I did email that web site with my idea to be a contributor in February. I got a very nice "sorry, we're all booked" message the next day. At least there was closure. Even though it was just pitching an idea, it was hard. I was playing the whole "I'm starting a new business" angle, hoping they would have mercy on me or something. But they didn't. And at the time, I still didn't actually have that business, so I was truly going out on a limb.
  • I met with the gift shop manager on Monday. This was the place that I've been dreaming about selling in for like, FOREVER. So sitting down face-to-face was HUGE. I was completely at peace for the whole thing. Normally in situations like that, I am a sweaty, stomach-rumbling mess. But not this time.
  • But, the meeting wasn't quite what I thought. There were no cutthroat negotiations over price.She asked what I could do, and I pulled numbers out of thin air. I was completely unprepared for that part, and knew it going in. And she just wrote down what I said. 
  • She certainly seemed interested and told me that she was working on an order.
  • I panicked, because I would make little money, or maybe even lose some, if I went ahead with the prices I gave her. Once I looked over my costs and all, it wasn't pretty. So that left me with one choice....
  • ...so I wrote her back, begging for mercy, and told her that my prices weren't going to work and we needed to discuss them again. I did NOT want to do that, and she may tell me to hit the road and not buy anything. But I have to make a profit to be in business, so I did the mind-numbing, terribly difficult, RISKY thing and told her that we had to renegotiate. I just sent that message a little while ago, and won't know what she says until tomorrow.
  • But before I sent that, after she said she had an order, I placed an order of my own, for a premade logo. I got a proof within an hour, and have already seen a revision. That's probably all I get for what I paid, but I like it, and it will work for now. Hopefully, I will still need it!!
Goodness, that's enough for one week. I'm exhausted. :-) And feeling guilty that I haven't been more encouraging to the rest of my group while I was busy with all my stuff.  Sorry girls--I will do better, I promise!!!

Come back for another installment of my business saga next week!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

#RiskRejection--Week One

Well, Week One is under our belts and we lived to tell about it. For me, I finally took those first steps towards starting my business. I am a crafter--I make things, many things, out of anything. That's one of two things I've always been told I was good at: crafting, and writing. Right now, I'm mostly into paper things, and I have two distinct customers in mind for my business. The first is general retail, like a gift shop. For that...

  • I finally called the manager of the shop I'd like to sell my items in. I got her voice mail, and tried not to dwell on the impending rejection I was certain was coming. :-)
That was a huge risk for me, because that makes it real. Dreaming is easy. Wondering "what might have been" and envisioning a grand future is easy. Doing the work, taking the risk--it changes everything. You no longer have the luxury of imagining how happy that manager would be to have your handiwork--you find out FOR SURE if she would or not. And if that answer is not, then that dream will die. And some people are so afraid of having that little bit of hope extinguished that they won't try. But we are being brave and risking rejection right? So I called!
  • She called back the next day, was very interested, answered my questions (with good answers I needed!), and asked for photos or a web site to see my work. I was so excited, I went right to work creating and designed this brand new "thing." 
  •  
  • And for good measure, here's another type item I hope to sell....

  • I shared it to our little Facebook group, risking rejection again, to get some real-world feedback. 
  • And I took it to work today, too. In the REAL WORLD, Amy Sullivan!!  All good so far! But now I have to see if I can make enough profit wholesaling it to be worth my time.
  • My few photos are awful, so I emailed the manager this morning to see if I could just bring some items by in person next week. She hasn't answered. So again, I am trying not to dwell on the possibility of impending doom!
My other customer will be brides. I really enjoy thinking about products for weddings--bouquets, table decor, favors...all that romantic stuff. I love it! So, I have a former coworker getting married soon, and I thought I could help her with that kind of thing for her wedding, but I wasn't brave enough to just come out and say it really well. I hinted, but she'd just say, "My mom is so crafty. I'll get her to make so-and-so for me." So, I let it go. Not my wedding, right? But, I can help throw her bridal shower! And, because I am the crafty one at our workplace, today I was asked to make a money/advice tree for the shower. 
  • So I just got a chance to work on something I will enjoy, and maybe get some nice product shots out of that I can use for my business. Score!
  • I emailed a group that is putting on a Bridal Expo in my area soon, to ask about advertising and getting involved. The answers were almost immediate, but pretty abrupt: "What do you do?" "How long have you been in business?" I told them I was a start-up and what I would be offering, and got an immediate answer that their group was for seasoned professionals only, with at least two years experience. OK, fine. So I asked if they knew of any opportunities/publications/conventions I could try where I could get started? And then there were no more answers, and that was several days ago. Crickets were chirping, and now they are just dead.
  • So, I was rejected, but I learned that those folks in that group aren't particularly nice and a bit snooty, and when I am established, I don't think I would want to be affiliated with a group like that. Maybe that's just hurt feelings talking, but there's just no call to be rude. Everyone was a start-up once...
I also reached out to the probable logo designer I mentioned last week. I told her that if I actually had a sale, then I was in and would become her paying customer. I really like her. :-)

Then, to keep the whole "you may think one way but God has other plans thing" alive too, I got an email calling for submissions for this great crafting web site next month. And the crafty things I do? All fit right in with what they want. So I can craft it, write about, and maybe get some exposure. So my risk for next week will be submitting my idea....

What about you? Have you taken any risks this week??

Thursday, January 9, 2014

#RiskRejection--The Start

Well, hello there. I know I haven't been here in a while. You can thank my friend Amy for my presence today. Here's why...

She went and got all crazy on us after going to Storyline and getting inspired, so she came back and decided to force all her friends to join start this little group called #RiskRejection. And, now that includes me.

If you click over to her site and read about it, basically she's asking us to finally take a risk, and encourage each other through it. Today is the launch of this little endeavor, so, here I am. For any of you that stumble across this page today, my risk is....

...I'm starting a business.

I know. Makes me wanna throw up, which is pretty much what all the #RiskRejection participants are saying.

I've had the idea forever, but honestly have been too scared to do it. I won't bore you with history except to say that this has been a LONG time coming, and everywhere I look now, God seems to be telling me that I can't put it off any more. Time to put my big girl panties on and get on with it! For example:


  • I got a Kindle for Christmas. What showed up on it, magically pulled from the Kindle App on my PC? I little e-book I forgot about called "The Do What You Can Plan" by Holly Gerth. Pretty much encourages you to stop being a chicken and take a risk.
  • My Facebook shows me a Suggested link for a "Start a Business in 2014" contest.
  • A blog I sort of follow asked the readers to vote on a "challenge" they would do in January. I voted for the "30 Day Just Ship It " challenge. It's about developing and launching your first product in 30 days. Guess which idea won??
  • I started browsing logo ideas online (which are RIDICULOUSLY expensive, by the way) and what did I find? My exact idea that I had at least a year ago, designed as a very affordable premade logo. And the designer is a doll.
  • There are more examples, but I'll stop there. But all of these have happened within the past few weeks.
So, there you have it. I will be an entrepreneur, building a brand-new business, while still working full-time, and being a wife, and raising a couple of kids.

Piece of cake, right?

Excuse me. I think I'm gonna be sick now.....but I'll be back on Thursday's to keep you in the loop on the latest. One day, I'll be redirecting you to my business blog!

Happy risk taking!!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Antibiotics and Orphans

Rinsing the antibiotics out of the medicine spoon tonight, I mused at how easy this diagnosis of strep throat has been for my youngest. In under 2 hours, we scheduled and completed a doctor's appointment (complete with lab testing), got diagnosed, ordered, picked up, and drank the first dose of amoxacillin.

In under two hours.

Then my mind went back to the orphans in Kenya, to Susan and Jane, and all the others...





What if they get strep throat? Who is there to notice when they don't act quite right? To touch their forehead, checking for fever? Is there a doctor to examine them, medicine to heal them?

My child is feeling nearly normal after only a day of treatment. Would these Kenyan children suffer, the pain in their throats so intense they couldn't eat the meager portions of ugali offered to them? The fever and headaches sapping all the strength from the tiny bodies?

Would something we can treat in two hours damage their little bodies forever, causing rheumatic fever or nephritis?

My God, how blessed I am to be in the United States, where my children can be healed so quickly. Please Lord, be with those children all over this big world who aren't so fortunate.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Happy National Handwriting Day 2013!

I have a thing for handwriting. Don't get me wrong--I write electronically, too. But there's something about the fluid glide of a pen over paper, or the teeny scratching sound from a sharp pencil that somehow feels right. Sometimes, writing by hand is cathartic in a way that writing on a computer just isn't.

So, when I ran across this project called "The World Needs More Love Letters", I immediately loved the idea, especially for National Handwriting Day 2013, on January 23rd.



The premise is that you write a note to a total stranger, and you sign it anonymously as well. Then leave it in some random place for someone else to find.

That's it. Spread a little sunshine with your words. What writer (or even a non-writer) wouldn't love to do that??

I'd love to hear from you if you decide to join in with that movement, but of course there are other ways to celebrate National Handwriting Day 2013.

Drop in and tell me how you participated!!

Monday, January 14, 2013

Quote of the Day


“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson (1870)

When you think you can't keep going any longer, just stick with it five more minutes--you can do it!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

How to Recharge your Resolutions


We’re a few days into the new year now. How are you doing on those resolutions? You’re in one of three camps:
  1. You don’t make resolutions.
  2. You are awesome! You made up your mind to change something this year, and you are sticking to it.
  3. You made a resolution or two, and you’ve already thrown in the towel. And you feel guilty because it’s only been a few days.

If you’re still going strong, then I congratulate you. But if you’re struggling, this post is for you. I want to help you get back on track.

To do that, we’re going to use a trick called the 5W Approach. This can be done two different ways. Today I will share the first. This involves taking a problem you need to solve, and then asking a series of five questions (the 5 W’s) about that problem: Who, What, Where, When and Why. These questions will help you pinpoint where you’re struggling, and ways to overcome it.

To start, define your problem. For example, I want to determine why I dread exercising. Then ask the Who, What, When, Where, and Why of that problem. Below is my example of how this works:

Take your problem (I hate exercising) and create a related “Who” question.

Possible "Who" questions:
  • Is there a person that helps or hinders my workout?
  • Do I need an accountability partner?
  • A personal trainer?
Possible answers:
  • I hate to exercise in front of others. 
  • like to run with my best friend.
  • I’d love a personal trainer.
Possible fixes:
  • Don’t exercise at the gym. Try an online workout or DVD at home instead.
  • Run with your buddy and you both get in shape.
  • Have a consultation with a personal trainer.

Even if you identify some issues, continue asking the other 4 W questions.

What: What kind of exercises are you doing? What exercises do you enjoy? What area of your health/body would you like to improve?

You may discover that you are in a Zumba class, but it makes you feel silly. Try circuit training instead. Or maybe you’re in a spin class, when you really want toned arms. Make your plan line up with the goal.

When: Are you working out at an inconvenient time? Are you a morning person or not? When is a convenient time for you to work out?

Where: where are you exercising? (In the garage where it’s cold, the gym where it’s crowded, etc.)

Why: Why do you want to exercise?

Consider the motives for exercising (or stopping smoking, or whatever your “change” is). Is it fueled by negativity (guilt, shame) or something positive (to run a 5K, to be healthier)? You have to want to make the change, or it won’t happen. Trust me—I’m a reformed smoker. I always knew the reasons I should quit. But I couldn’t quit until I wanted to.

Look at your answers to these questions, and make some adjustments to the way you’d been trying to change. Make a new battle plan, and start again. Remember, every day (or minute!) is a new beginning!

My challenge: now you try! Define your problem, and then ask the 5W’s. Thinking through questions in this way will help you identify small changes you can make that will help you succeed. Good luck!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A New Year Challenge



Undoubtedly, I am the queen of procrastination. I have a SLOW mode that I’m not afraid to use. Spend the whole day in my jammies? No problem. Play games, read, nap for hours, instead of writing? Piece of cake. Promising myself at every 15-minute interval that I will stop gaming/reading/napping and do something productive. But do I? Not as often as I’d like.

Right now, I’m giving myself some slack. I recently buried my dad, so if my heart really isn’t into any particular activity, I’m not pushing myself. But, because of dad, and the dawn of 2013, I have been considering my life and how I’m spending it.

Mom used to call dad “a worm in hot ashes” because he could rarely sit still. There was always something he felt needed his attention. Me? Not so much. Mentally, I feel that way, but my physical response is nonexistent. I’m always chastising myself in my head for being such a slacker. Then I try to rationalize my actions (or lack of them), and bore myself, often returning to whatever mind-numbing activity I was engaged in to end the banter in my head.

The funny thing is, what I am usually avoiding is writing. I actually enjoy writing once I get started, and can often put down several hundred words in under an hour. I just have trouble starting.

Sometimes it isn’t just totally wasteful stuff that keeps me from writing, either. I mean, there’s always laundry begging to be done, dirt on the floor, dishwashers to load and unload, kids needing homework help. I seem to find ANY excuse—good or bad—not to start.

WHY?

Why do I procrastinate? Maybe because I think I’ll be interrupted?

(That’s dumb. You don’t have any kind of deadline whatsoever. Who cares how long it takes. Why do you think you’ll be interrupted?)

Because I always am.

(Then why don’t you write when it’s quiet, or no one is home?)

I don’t know. What if I write something and it sucks?

(Probably will.)

What if no one reads it?

(They can’t read what you don’t write.)

Blink. Blink.

(What’s the matter—cat got your tongue?)

Shut up.

Fine. So how am I going to fix this?

I’m a rule follower, and I used to be very hard on myself. New Year resolutions were the worst. If I missed one day of my read-the-Bible-in-a-year plan, I felt like a failure and thought I had to wait for the next year to roll in to try again.

What I have learned is that every day is a new chance to start. Shoot, every minute is a new chance to start! Whatever it is that you’ve been putting off—writing that book, joining that gym, cleaning out the garage—join me today and draw that line in the sand.

Someone out there needs what you can offer, if you’d just do it. Today is the day it changes.

Today is the day you start doing what you’ve been afraid to do.

When I have a free minute to write, today I won’t say, “I think I’ll take a quick nap.” Instead, I will fire up my laptop or grab that notebook and pen, and get to work. Because no one can read my words if I don’t write them. You’ll never meet that special someone if you don’t start looking. Your family can’t enjoy that scrapbook if you don’t make it. You won’t ever have the little home office if you don’t clean out the junk. You’ll never finish that degree if you don’t register for the classes. You’ll never get out of debt if you don’t follow that budget. You’ll never make amends with that old friend if you don’t reach out first.

And you’ll never finish any of it if you don’t start.

Whatever you have to do to make it happen, the excuses stop now.

Block the Facebook games. Turn off the DVR and get off the couch. Wake up earlier to get a few extra minutes in your day. Stop tweeting what you ate for lunch.

Get up and start something, so when it’s January 1 of 2014, you can look back and say, “2013 was the year I finally did _______________.”

What will fill in your blank?


Monday, December 24, 2012

On Christmas Eve

Ponder these words today from "Jesus Calling", a devotional by Sarah Young:

"As you celebrate the wonder of My birth in Bethlehem, celebrate also your rebirth into eternal life. This everlasting gift was the sole purpose of My entering your sin-stained world. Receive My gift with awe and humility. Take time to explore the vast dimensions of My love. Allow thankfulness to flow freely from your heart in response to My glorious gift. Let My peace rule in your heart, and be thankful."
Wishing a blessed, peaceful, thank-filled Christmas to you.


Friday, December 21, 2012

Dear Mayans, You got the date wrong, but there will be an apocolypse

Well, it's in the evening of December 21, 2012--the day many thought the world was doomed to end. And I'm still here. Not that I ever doubted it. I believe the Bible when in Mark 13:32 it says, "But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come."

Folks all over the world have been talking about it, and making TV specials about it. (This is a blog I saw about it today.) I'm not jumping into the hype. I just want to say this:

We know the end is coming someday. And if it occurs in this lifetime...

Do you know where you will be after it happens?
"For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.  According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever." 1 Thessalonians 4:14-17
"For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”  Romans 10:12-13
If you aren't completely sure if you will go to heaven when the end does finally come, go here for a great resource to get you thinking.

Book Review: Living Life in the Zone

I have been with BookSneeze for a while, doing book reviews in exchange for a complimentary copy of the book. I just realized that I never posted the review for the last book I requested, which I actually got for my husband.


It's called "Living Life in the Zone." I had requested many books through this program, and one day my husband commented on the fact that I never got one for him. So, my next opportunity, I found this one. He is a HUGE sports fan, so I thought this would be perfect for him. It's a sports-themed devotional for men.

This 40-day devotional includes inspirational stories and devotionals from coaches and athletes Tony Dungy, Allan Houston, Kurt Warner, and John Wooden.

I asked my husband many times over a few weeks how it was, and he'd just say, "It's good." After badgering him for what seems an eternity, I give up. I wish I could give a glowing review with lots of examples, but I can't say what I don't know. So, in the words of my husband, "It's good."


Thomas Nelson has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book or advanced reading copy through BookSneeze®.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Cost of Comfort


Comfort. It’s a cozy word that makes me think of cuddly blankets and fuzzy socks. Warmth, happiness.

Many people have a misconception that being a Christian means being comfortable. They think that Christians are always happy, and live on Easy Street. But really, being a Christian pretty much guarantees the opposite.

When I am truly living for Christ, I am uncomfortable watching television shows and movies that the rest of the world adores. I am uncomfortable telling certain jokes, or even hearing them. Being in the presence of gossips makes me squirm. So does knowing about the willful sins of others, who have no desire to stop.

Whoever said that “Christian” was synonymous with “comfort?” They were wrong.

I like comfort. So do you. It feels good, and right. I can come home at night, and rest my weary self by plopping on the couch, surfing, or watching TV, or something else mindless. But that makes me uncomfortable.

Why?

Because I know that I could be using that time to do other, better things. I could be writing a letter to the child I sponsor in Mexico. I could be composing a blog post or magazine article, touting the mission organization I saw at work in Kenya with my own eyes. I could be making a toy for a sick kid, or a blanket for a needy family. I could be serving dinner at the soup kitchen, or volunteering at the homeless shelter downtown.

But that isn’t comfortable, because that isn’t what everyone else is doing. They’re all watching prime time TV, updating their Facebook status or tweeting what they just ate for dinner.

That’s the problem.

We’ve become a society that seeks comfort above all else, at any cost. And believe me, there is a cost. Look around. Over half of the kids at my children’s elementary school qualify for free or reduced lunch because poverty is prevalent in our county. Tween and teenage girls in Africa are selling their bodies just to survive, because there are no jobs, and no families to support them because they’ve all died of AIDS. People in poverty-stricken areas are dying of infections that are easily cured here at home.

The cost of our society staying in its comfort zone means that children will go to bed hungry tonight. That a veteran will wander the streets, looking for somewhere he can sleep. That a teenager in desperate need of a role model will instead turn to drugs or a gang to feel accepted.

All the while, we’re clicking “like” on a ridiculous photo of a cat or texting our BFF the latest dirt on the new girl at work.

No, being a Christian isn’t comfortable. But sometimes being uncomfortable is the best place to be.


Friday, December 14, 2012

Greater Blog Hop--Week 3: Remembering Daddy


This is a slightly modified repost from a few years ago. My little daddy passed on yesterday, going on to the heavenly mansion that's waiting for him. I think all the shooting stars I saw last night were fireworks from daddy's heavenly homecoming!

This doesn't fit one of the selected topics for this week's Greater Blog Hop, but as I posted last week, my daddy left one heck of a legacy. The kind of legacy that challenges me to be greater. Daddy let the Lord work through him every day--there was no question that people could see Jesus in him.

I can only hope that when my time on earth is over, people can say the same about me. If I can do half the good my daddy did, I will have lived a full life--a greater life.

Join me today as I honor my daddy.


Those of you who know me may be a bit confused by the title of this post, because my dad is still here.

Well, mostly.

Part of the reason for the huge funk I have been in recently is that dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease a few months ago.  It is very hard news for a daddy's girl to take.

I find that often, I grieve his loss already, even though he is still here.  I grieve the fact that I never know from day to day if I can have a decent conversation with him.  I grieve the things he's always done - the things that make Daddy who he is - that he can't do anymore.

But today, I choose to remember daddy like I've always known him, before the disease starting chipping away at him.

I remember the daddy who called me "Doodle" and "Pistol" when I was a little girl, and the way he introduced me to other people as "The Boss."

I remember the daddy who replaced one recliner after another because I squeezed in beside him in them so often that I worked the arms loose.

I remember the daddy who walked to Ingle's every night for a cup of coffee, and let me get a creme horn from the bakery.

I remember the daddy who took me to McDonald's for an ice cream cone, and waited while I played on the playground.

I remember the daddy who worked rotating shifts at the mill, and I never heard him complain.

I remember the daddy who always made fried potatoes and fireplace cornbread when he had to cook dinner.

I remember the daddy that couldn't stand to see anyone cry.

I remember that daddy that bought whatever food and toys he could find at the only store open on Christmas morning (gas station), and took it to a destitute single mother before he came home and celebrated Christmas with his own family.

I remember the daddy that stopped smoking when I asked him to.

I remember the daddy that started fires with gasoline.

I remember the daddy who always had his shaving brush and a bottle of Old Spice on top of his medicine cabinet.












I remember the daddy that got me my first car from a junkyard :-)

I remember the way my daddy whistled when he was coming in from the garage for dinner.

I remember the daddy who constantly cut wood and gave it away (with delivery!) for free to anyone who needed it.

I remember the daddy who helped liberate my Barbie's from their plastic ties when ever I got a new one, which was often because I was spoiled rotten.  (just ask my sister)

I remember the daddy who doesn't like to pray out loud, but occasionally will and, when he does, it is the same every time.

I remember the daddy who scared my boyfriends.

I remember the daddy that many of my girlfriends wished was their dad.

I remember the daddy who told me that Randy Travis singing sounded like pig squealing.

I remember the daddy that adores his grandchildren.

I remember the daddy that means "Do you need money?" when he asks, "Do you need anything?"

I remember the daddy that made us listen to a Marty Robbins eight-track nonstop while we drove around the country for three weeks on vacation.

I have been blessed with an amazing earthly father, and I am thankful that my Heavenly Father put him in my life.  I could go on for days with the wonderful memories I have of him.  I've shared a few here, but the rest of my memories I'll tuck quietly in my heart to remember on the days I miss him most.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Greater Blog Hop: Week 2

This week, we have read through Chapter 4 in the book "Greater" by Pastor Steven Furtick. One of our topics this week is this:

Is this thing on? Elisha had it easy. He knew God had called him to leave the dull behind when the great prophet Elijah showed up at his plow. What about you? Share a time when God spoke clearly into your life. Big or small, how did you discern His calling in your life?
One of my most recent experiences with God speaking into my life came about 15 months ago, during the annual missions celebration at my church. During one of the services of this series, a video played of teenage prostitutes in Kenya, selling their bodies just to survive. These were children--one of the girls who had been rescued was 14. She had stopped being a prostitute by the age of 14. Can you imagine?

As the video kept playing, I saw faces of these sweet girls, learning to sew. An African pastor has made it his mission to try to save as many of these girls from this lifestyle as he can, by showing them the love of Christ, and teaching them new life skills so they never have to return to that way of life.

I had never been on a mission trip in my life, or even traveled outside of the country. My closest thing to a missions experience was serving at the soup kitchen. But just as clearly as if He had spoken right to my face from the next seat over, God told me to go to Kenya.

That in itself isn't amazing. God calls people every day to missions, to serve, to preach...but me? Never even close. I like comfort. I like indoor plumbing, and staying clean, and sticking with my normal life.

The amazing part was that I didn't doubt, didn't question, didn't waver. As I sat there in my seat with God telling me to go, I simply said, "OK." And I did.

If only it were always that simple. If whenever I sensed direction from God, I just said, "OK." But I don't always. Actually, I usually don't. And as a result, I'm in a place where I need a book like "Greater" and a Bible study like this one to give me a wake-up call and be different this time.

Coming back from that trip, as evidenced on this blog, just wrecked me. I know that I am called to greater things as a result, but I just don't know what those greater things are yet. And then came Chapter Four...

I am facing one of the most difficult times in my life, as hospice has just told us that my 84 year old father likely has only a few weeks to live. As I think about his life and his legacy, it makes it even more apparent that I need to be greater. My dad has the ultimate testimony, as an alcoholic that was saved in his forties and never looked back. The second part of his life was spent redeeming the mistakes he made in the first part, by doing good whenever he had the chance.

But it isn't just about doing the right thing, or trying to gain the approval of man, or out of guilt or shame. My dad's life was changed because of Jesus. And he lived every day as an example to others of what that redeeming grace can do. Dad's motivation was simple--he was doing his best to live a godly life because God had given him a second chance. The Lord blessed both daddy and countless others through him. All because of Jesus.

And that brings me to another calling of God. When I first picked up this book, I thought it sounded interesting, maybe to get me motivated. But the more I read, I know that God is calling me again--to be greater.


Thursday, November 29, 2012

Greater Blog Hop

Well, hey there! If you're here for the first time today, then welcome to my dusty little corner of Blogland.

This blog didn't use to be dusty. In fact, once I was posting here almost daily.

Then my quest to be Greater, hopefully leading to Greatness all on my own, spun out of control and this little blog just...stopped.

I felt sure that God had called me to do Greater things, and at first, I was all in. I used my lunch breaks and any snippet of time trying to do what I thought I should. Somewhere along the way, though, it became more about Me and my "greatness" than it did about God and sharing His.

In the middle of a writer's conference, when everyone was being encouraged and getting fired up to do great things, God told me that I was in His way, and that just couldn't be.

That's when the words dried up.

I have struggled ever since, desperately wanting God to use me, to show me how to stay out of the way and make everything about Him. But for years now, he's just been quiet about it.

Until recently.

If you look at some of my most recent posts, you'll see that I was in the process of reflecting on a mission trip to Kenya I took this past May. The re-entry from that trip has been it's own struggle. But, here it is in a nutshell: I don't know why God sent me to Africa, but He did.

The call to go was as clear as it could be. My little heart cried, "Yes! This is it! This is what I can do for you, Lord!" I just knew this trip would change me, my life--that it would be a turning point.

In my impatience, I was frustrated when I came back home and things didn't feel all that different. This was supposed to be life-changing, right? That's what all the others who had gone before me said.

Life-changing. Greater.

And once again, I found myself in a place where I wanted to be used by God, but just wasn't sure how. He had not revealed that to me yet, and my mind was trying to conjure up what God maybe wanted from me.

There I was, getting in the way again, satisfying my own will instead of waiting for the Lord to reveal His. Thankfully, I have actually learned a thing or two in the last few years and, when I recognized the selfish "make me happy!" thoughts creeping in, I stepped back. I started seeking the Lord, begging that His will be done, and not mine.

I think God might finally be starting to give me glimpses of the road ahead, and which way I should go. But after all those desperate prayers of "Use me, Lord!", I find myself terrified that He will, and that once again I will get in His way.

 I'm tired of feeling good enough, or even not good enough. I don't want Greatness. With Jesus as my Guide, I just want to be Greater.

Join me? I'm participating in an online Bible study of Steven Furtick's book Greater, and you can too: right here!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Ruined and Wrecked

So, it's 8:45 pm, and I'm making granola.

I totally failed at the whole 31 Days of Reflection thing. I have been constantly reflecting on Kenya. Just not here on the blog.

I find it hard to pray. I have ever since we landed in Nairobi. I wish I could explain why, but I can't.

I've been reading books like "Wrecked" and "Greater" and blog posts like this one. They bring tears to my eyes--because I'm happy someone else gets where I am. Because it makes me sad that I haven't done more since I returned. Because I'm frustrated that I can't get myself together enough to do something.

And while these books and posts are awesome, I should be seeking my guidance from The Author and Perfecter of my faith. But all I can muster is a little "Lord, show me what to do now" prayer every morning. And that's about all I can get out.

My African pastor and his wife just returned to Kenya today. They have been here in the States, visiting our church for Missions celebrations and trying to round up some other churches to join in ministry with them. It was good to see them, but it has also wrecked me, even more than I was before.

I asked about the sewing ministry, where they are training girls to sew, giving them a chance at life that doesn't involve selling their bodies, just to feed their families.

I met those girls. They sat next to me while they nervously twirled paper beads. The girls that I sang with, clapped with, worshipped with, prayed for. The girls I carried fabric on my back through fields in the mountains of Kijabe for. The girls that walk for miles to get to class, when they can.

They walk for miles to learn how to use a broken-down sewing machine, while I have one in my home and a spare collecting dust in my basement.

Wilfred tells me that the five sewing machines they have working are falling apart. That if the girls can't find some success selling what they have made, they will have no choice but to go back to the lives of fourteen-year-old prostitutes they're trying to leave behind.

And my brain can't wrap around why these girls are on the verge of collapse, and I'm making granola.

I saw them. I want to do something. I just don't know what that something should be. And right now, God isn't letting me in on His plans.

But, I got wise council from Bob Schindler of Mission ONE this weekend. Basically, he said that I should think of this time as walking around in the dark with a flashlight, and all I can see in front of me is what the flashlight illuminates. He explained that, in his early days of ministry, if God had shown him then where he would end up today, he would have been terrified and ran in the other direction.

Good point.

So, I will choose to be thankful to have just enough light for today, and trust that God will turn on the spotlight ahead when it's time. He didn't wreck me for no reason. :-)




Thursday, October 4, 2012

31 Days of Reflection: Day 4

Sunday morning. Time to venture to the first of our three ministry locations: Kijabe, Kenya. Here, we would be visiting the property our home church had helped Wilfred purchase near his home to use for neighborhood ministry.  (Wilfred was our leader, driver, translator, spritual advisor, prayer warrior, and entertainer.) Today we'd be visiting a church, and seeing the property. We will also be spending time with some of the local children.

We had two cars, and decided to split up between them--no need to pack into just one. Wilfred suggested that the three of us girls went with him, as would Carl, and the boys could ride with Joseph. Later he would tell us that God told him to take the women because we might be scared! I love him! So funny.

Anyway, God made the right call, but not because we were scared. Let me explain.

From the time we left Naivasha, Joseph and the boys got swarmed by merchants, pulled over, and stuck in the mud. Really stuck.

Like "shouldn't have worn my Chaco's today" stuck.

Will! Get out of the van!

The calvary!

Or not. Didn't want to get dirty for church.

At least we were stuck in a pretty spot.

Us ladies stayed off to the side, taking pictures and admiring the countryside. All those strapping young men on our team: football players, martial arts gurus, Army men--they could handle it!

We were stuck for over an hour. Once we finally got out of that mess, we had to climb up the mountain to reach the village. We thought we were safe until we saw these roads:


The local children were sometimes paid to fill the ruts with rocks to make the roads more passable.

This was the good road three months ago--before rainy season.

Massive rains during their wet season had washed everything out. I had never seen roads this bad in my entire life. Wilfred's driving (and Joseph's too) was amazing on this terrain. That Land Cruiser would go anywhere!

At least we had views like this on the way up, even if we were being tossed around like rocks in a dryer:


Reflection of the Day: American boys don't know SQUAT about four-wheelin'. They'd never get out of the African mud!

(Please check out The Nester and the others 31 Dayers here.)

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