Have you got a tissue?

Because I could have used one or two or ten earlier tonight. Don't think that you're going to go to a Christian women's conference and not meet God.

He was there tonight. Just ask all the sniffling, raccoon-eyed ladies like me. :-)

Sometimes, I don't like meeting Him, though. He reminds me of things I'd just as soon forget. Like how incredibly selfish I am. What a quitter I am. Our final speaker tonight was speaking about doubt. We were asked to think about what we doubted, what was getting in the way of doing what God has called us to. We had cards pre-printed with things like discouragement and fear. Leave it to God to catch you feeling all high and mighty, to remind you that you're not. Not without Him, anyway.

Yep. I prayed for God to reveal anything holding me back, feeling pretty smug. I thought I had been pretty obedient lately. But the conviction started to set in, followed by an answer pretty quickly: you. You, Beth, are in the way.

Oh. That again.

I'm beginning to think that this will be my thorn. Remember how Paul had a thorn that he repeatedly asked God to remove, but it never was? Yeah. I've always been selfish. Or called selfish. Or afraid of being selfish.

I'm tired of thinking I'm the center. Even if it sneaks up on me! Having this same theme resurrected over and over again is exhausting.

Lord, I thank you today for Philis and the verse she gave us. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus." I claim it as mine today God, and ask that you not ever let me forget that it's not about me at all, but only about You. Amen.